Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-34030170-20190401112731

Hey, everybody! OneBehindTheHair here again with another top-quality suggestion! Today I'll be discussing the current inaccurate aspects of NPC-speech and how they could be improved.

Introduction
For this suggestion, I'll primarily be focusing on the realism of speechbanks. As they currently are, they're fine from a gameplay standpoint, if a little minimalistic. The problem is very simple here. Nobody talks so cleanly in real life! That's why this suggestion is based on:

Profanity
Basically, as can easily be guessed, this will add profanity to the mod. I know that many may argue that it's unnecessary, or inappropriate for Minecraft, or even that it doesn't properly represent Tolkien's Middle-earth. Well, to heck with all that! It's realistic, and I'm sure it's what the Professor would have wanted.

Anyway, since it's a relatively simple concept, I'll just provide a few examples of new dialogue.

Note: According to my moral compass (read: I'm better than all you), I can't allow myself to actually curse, no matter how minor the word may be. I'll censor myself as much as I can without compromising the legibility of the phrases.

NSFW? Maybe?

Affected Factions
Of course, all Mannish factions would have to be affected, being closer to the people of our time that I'll be basing this off of. Now, they could have special lines according to their specific faction, but I think it's best to keep this simple. They'd greet their friends with cheerful "How the f*** are you doing," and their enemies with angry "F*** YOU RIGHT IN THE A**!" Simple, and easy to add, right?

Hobbits, being significantly closer to Men than other races, would be just as affected, if not more so. There are several points in the books where Sam is said to have sweared, so we can only assume that "God motherf***ing d***!" and the like were common exclamations of Hobbits.

Orcs are descended from Elves, who are the most perfect of all races, so it's unlikely they'd have even the least coarse sailor mouths. Orcs, Uruks, and the like are all exempt from this change.

That being said, Elves have lived for thousands of years, going through many hardships and probably picking up many swear words throughout the ages. Elves might even have some of the worst language of all! I know I said I wouldn't compromise the legibility of these speechbanks, but I'll have to turn the filter up a bit for these. Forgive me. They'd greet their Elf-friends and allies with "Mae ****ing Govannen, you mother****ing ***hole," while their less-than-close enemies would be met with the full brunt of "Go and k*ss a mother****ing Orc, you ***********, G*blin-****ing, *********** ****er!" Friend or foe, I'd keep my children away from them.

Needless to say, the Eagles would have the very worst language.

Conclusion
In conclusion, this very good idea should be added to the mod, and soon. I feel we are already losing a substantial part of the potential playerbase without this! There are many things that should be added: Gandalf, Minas Tirith, and the One Ring, but none of them are as high a priority as this. This update must ship quickly. Hurry! We are running out of time!

Sign this petition to add this idea (and Gandalf) to the mod immediately!

As always, thanks for reading! If you have any more ideas for additions to the NPC speechbanks, you've probably got some issues you need to work out! 