Board Thread:Forum Roleplays/@comment-9854464-20150601151442/@comment-25799916-20150603062842

Eureka Enderborn wrote: Carrion Sat atop a snowy ledge, thinking. That was his favorite thing to do, just ahead of hunting and killing. Thinking about his pack and himself, and what they would do. He knew his kind were disliked by the world at large, given the number of men Elves and Dwarves that ran away from or tried to kill them. And the Orcs thought of them simply as mounts and beasts of war. So now he and his pack were in a conundrum. On the one side, enemies who feared and hated them, and on the other, supposed allies who treat them as nothing more than mounts.

He walked back into the cave where his pack rested. He was met promptly by another male in his pack.

"Alpha, I have a problem." He said to Carrion.

"What is it, Ripper?" The warg in question was his third in command.

"Well, I've recently had my eyes on this female. The only issue is, she's a pretty hot commodity. I was wondering... could you maybe teach some of us how to better get a mate?"

"What makes you think I know anything about that?"

"Well, all the females in the area know about you, and basically every single one of them are working to be your mate! And it's not just because you're alpha!"

"Well, I suppose. Tell anyone interested to meet me on Overlook Ledge."

"Where?"

"Oh, it's the tall place with the sheer drop that you can see very far from. I gave it a name."

A short while later, a group of about five males stood facing Carrion, their snow white Alpha.

"Alright, time to learn." Carrion said.

"I'm not doing this." Said Crusher, a prominent hunter.

"If you want to get yourself a mate, you'll need Carrion's help." Ripper said. "He knows them better than any of us."

Carrion spoke up then. "Everybody be quiet." Those assembled were immediately silent. "Hold all your questions to the end. Now, before we start, does anyone have any questions?"

Bones, a warg infamous in the pack for being a bit slow, spoke up. "Yes, I would like to--"

"That was a trick question!" Crusher interrupted. "We're supposed to hold all our questions to the end!"

Bones got a confused look. "Then why didn't you hold your trick question until the end?"

Carrion's tail flicked. "Because the rules don't apply to me."

"Well, maybe my question was a magic question."

"Yes. Abracadabra, you're an idiot. So we've already learned our first lesson: the rules don't apply to you. Females like a rebel, someone who's unique and outside of the norm."

"Like a renegade?" Ripper asked.

"It depends on what he did to get banished. See, females like a free spirit. Someone that can be crushed into a raw material which can then be moulded into what they really want."

"And what's that?"

"They don't know. Which is why you have to tell them what they want without actually telling them what to do. Now, stop asking questions."

"That sounds hard."

"Which is why we're doing lessons. It's time for some roleplaying. Bones, you be a female, Crusher, you try to attract Bones. I'll observe and tell you how you did."

"Why does Bones have to be the female?" Asked an indignant Crusher.

"Trust me, Crusher, it's a bigger stretch for you to play the male. Now start. Bones, say something a female would say."

"Snarl, flicking tail."

"No sound effects, Bones." Carrion said, growing a little irritated.

"Quietly angry."

"And stop narrating!"

Bones got a frustrated look. "Ok. Fine."

"There!" Carrion said. "That's it! That's a girl! Now go!"

The lesson went on for a few more hours, but eventually the students returned to the cave. Each was more confused than when they had left, but they were all armed with tactics that, for unknown reasons, seem to work.

That was really funny! But the actual RP starts this Friday, so this can't actually have any bearing on the story, I don't think.