Board Thread:Lore Texts/@comment-26149161-20170528025337/@comment-27001609-20170528210411

You did a great job here, I love it, but I have some structural criticism haha.

1. The last bit could be edited/removed, because it suggests the writer wants the Moredain to become good, which ofcourse makes sense because the writer is probably one of the free peoples, but why would a Moredain man or woman have a book in their house that states that their own beliefs are bad?

2. I think you could add a bit more "as of yet's" and "until now's" because that reminds the reader that the book has been written in the past and gives the actual moredain players more options and freedoms within the making of their own faction while sticking to the mod lore it that makes sense to you.

3. Somewhere I think the Moredain tribes of the east being the weakest statement is practically wrong. Since these people have survived waves upon waves of Half Troll raids, and this sensibly would have maken them stronger and braver then most moredain. If they would have been hiding in their caves forever they would have probably moved to the west and half trolls would have taken their lands already. And if you want to stay with the current statement I suggest you add info about the eastern Moredain having fled to the Island on the Great Lakes where they are safe of the Half Troll attacks. Because Again the current one practically doesn't make sense because a continuous attacked and pillaged folk would just leave the hostile area after a generation or so.

4. Maybe add something more about foreign rulers taking control of the land and enslaving the people. This gives way for RP characters (like my own, a Black Numenorean from Umbar who rules the Moredain on TOS) to develop accordingly to the lore.

Alright that's it for critiscm here some notes

- I'm thinking of writing a religious book for the Moredain (Great Lion ofcourse) it would be great if we could cooperate on that so we can edit our books accordingly to eachothers texts, my fb is Thy Thysen if you're interested.

- I really love your text.

- I can appreciate the Simbakul.

Thanks for reading, Aglarion/Thy.