Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-26222895-20150403152607

Some time ago, my mom got me a subscription to a magazine which has writing/drawing contests every month. I am interested in these contests and plan on competing in some of them. However, it would be very helpful if I could get someone's unbiased opinion about what I write/draw, and mabye some constructive critisism. This is what this dicustion is for. OK, here goes the first one. Concept: Poetry        Topic: animals      Constraints: 24 lines or less

"I want to be a bird,"

she said.

She raised her wings

above her head.

And with a flap,

she soared on high

No worries now,

for she can fly!

But then there was

that little thing,

of which the birdies

never sing.

The hawks, the crows,

starvation too.

She never had

considered flu!

So as she thought,

"Oh, i'm so pleased!

I'm never noticied

in the trees!

A great big bird

swooped down, it did,

and ate her up.

And that was it.

P.S: I know birds probably don't get flu, but it rhymes well. 