Thread:SamwiseFilmore/@comment-26295802-20160205173004/@comment-25330335-20160205220742

/me hopes he hasn't insulted Imrahil.

Like I said in that reply, you need a bit more action in between bits of dialauge, otherwise it gets boring fairly quickly. Not boring, but I don't have another good word. Also, incorporate a bit more mood into the text. Remember, the're sitting at a bar in Far Harad, not in the court of the king of Gondor. Make the speech less stiff and formal to represent rank and other variables.

 SamwiseFilmore (Admin) (Fill My Mailbox)