Board Thread:General Mod Discussion/@comment-27860585-20160227122451/@comment-27264399-20160228033505

Catfishperson wrote: A description of elves, quoted from the ''MIddle-Earth Monster´s guide. ''Which I highly recommend you read.

''¨Elves can generealy be found in wooded areas, becuase they bare an unwholesome attachment to trees and shrubs. They are tall, thin, and irritatingly smug. On the otherhand, they are generaly shrewder then other races that have allied themselves against us, so they should not be underestimated. Elves have an extensive knowledge of the lore of Middle-Earth, including all sorts of ¨wise¨ sayings and bits of idiotic verse about Middle-Earth history. If you encounter an elf, and want to engage its attention, have a tale or two handy about tragic elf maidens who fall in love with mortals and spend centureies lamenting their beloveds and letting tears drop that turn into flowers. ... That sort of thing comes easily enough once you put your mind to it, even if it makes you throw up a bit in your mouth. Another thing elves are interested in is their own history- they´re the most narcissistic of  of the races of Middle-Earth. They can never here too much about where they came from, or how much Eru loved them, and the great tragedy (as they concieve it) of their love for Middle-Earth, which they must, alas, alas, alas, leave forever. Yes, they really do go on like that. Spend a little time studying elvish history (nauseating, I know, but necessary if your going to make a good impression), so you´ll be able to spit out some facts or one of their old tales, allowing you to be accepted as an elf friend, the highest alcolade acorrded non-elves. Elves are expert archers, and mildly good with swords, but in general they are much better at attacking their enemies at a distance, while remaining safe behing battlements, trees, or anything else that provides shelter. When faced with a full-on frontal attack, they´re more inclined to give way, and in all likelyhood, will wind up in one of the scattered companies that are mooning about Middle-Earth, waiting to leave.This is one of the great mysteries about elves: If they´re bound and determined to leave Middle-Earth, why don´t they simply head for the Grey Havens, and not let the door hit their skinny butts on the way out? But no, they spend hundreds of years bemoaning the fact that they´re leaving the place they love and making up songs and poetry about it.¨  ''

Anyway, theres a similar description of dwarves in it, but I´m too lazy to type it up right now. Oh, that book.