User blog:High King Ithilion/The "Modern Captain-General Song"

I parodied the famous "Modern Major General" song from Pirates of Penzance. Took me about an hour. Hope you enjoy!

I am the very model of a modern Captain-General,

I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I know the kings of Arnor, and I quote the fights historical

From Dagorlad to Pelennor, in order categorical;

I'm very comprehending, too, of persons problematical,

I understand Lord Denethor, but revile Queen Beruthiel,

About our wars with Mordor I know quite a many things,

With many fearsome facts about threat from the cruel Easterlings.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I'm very good at quoting from the most famous of the elven-lays;

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I know the Adunaic names of battles from the Elder Days:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I am the very model of a modern Captain-General.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I know our mythic history, King Earnil and Lord Artamir;

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I battle with Haradrim, I’ve seen the swords of Castamir,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I quote in Sindarin the battle-cries of Celeborn,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">In a song I can describe the elven-lore of Aravorn;

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I can tell poems of Malbeth from those of Bombadil and Gleowine,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I know the taste of liquor fresh from a Dorwinrim grapevine!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Then I can hum an elven-hymn of which I've heard the music's notes afore

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">And name all the members of the great and famous house of Beor.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Then I can write a surrender demand in Balchothic cuneiform,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">And tell you ev'ry detail of Romendacil’s uniform:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I am the very model of a modern Captain-General.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">In fact, when I know what is meant by Methedras and ravelin,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">When I can tell at sight a longsword from a javelin,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">And when I know exactly what is meant by "commissariat",

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">When I learn what advances have been made with the Palantir,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">When I know more of tactics than a Dwarven prince of Mirrormere

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">In short, when I've a knowledge of our southern border-forts,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You'll say a better Captain-General has never rode a horse.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I am the very model of a modern Captain-General.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">What do you think? Any ideas, comments, or thoughts? Post below!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.8857142857142857;margin-top:2pt;margin-bottom:7pt;margin-left:17pt;"><span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <font color="Silver">High King Ithilion (Discussions Moderator) <font color="Silver">(Ni celeb ithil) 02:57, February 9, 2016 (UTC) <span style="font-size:14px;font-family:Arial;color:#252525;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">