User blog:Dunethunder76mx/My book suggestions.

I am writing a book, and I need some suggestions on the first couple paragraphs of the First chapter, and the prololauge.

They are as follows:

Prololauge:

When I woke, to see the beautiful sun, shining brightly in my eyes and on my skin. When I woke, to see the magnificent green trees, standing tall. When I woke to see the others. Then the other elves awoke, they were the monsters, but they called us monsters, because we were different. They battled us, and exiled us to forgotten parts of the world. Then it seemed, as all the world forgot us, like we never even existed. But we will never forget what the other elves did to us, even if we do die off...

Start of chapter 1:

he races of this world have learned to forget their differences, or so on the outside it seemed so. The High-Elves, so innocent in the eyes of the other races, spread lies about our history, our ancestors. We know the whole truth however, the real truth. But I should introduce myself, shouldn’t I? I within my people am known as Dune, the necromancer of the south, the eldest of our race, the eldest of our heritage, and even world. Necromancer you are wondering? A necromancer, is an ancient sorcerer that has the power, the terrible power, of raising the dead, back to the living. I am the last, the carrier of the necronomic secrets, the last power of darkness to consume the light. My studies, surround the ways of mana. Mana in general, is the force of life, the force of nature, the most basic element, but in a way, the most complicated. My studies of mana have shown that mana appears in blood as a liquid, but there is no way for it to be a liquid, whenever I liquify it, it evaporates instantly, leaving a burnt spot where it was. The more mana in a person's blood, the more affluent to the arcane arts they are, weather it is air, water, fire or earth. I personally specialize in all magic.



My studies are very rarely interrupted by anyone, and few are allowed inside my chambers. The few allowed are Aoi-Razus the Man-cat and ally, Madlyn the dark-elf and close childhood friend, even though the first elves didn't have a childhood, she is the second eldest in our race. Then there are the few other arcane masters of our race. They were all taught by me, they are also allowed in my chambers library. Then there is no one else allowed. If I see anyone else in my chambers without my permission, they get blown inside out.



The high-elves, are a noble and proud race, although, are arrogant and cocky, with the world in the palm of there hand. They are the gods of the world, every race is afraid of them. But we are not the only two in this world, there are others. The rich mountain dwellers, short and stout as they are, mighty warriors the are, and make power weapons, strong. Then there are the pride filled men, of the north, with glorious cities, and massive numbers. There are also the cats, the desert dwellers. The cats, standing tall, very tall, like men, but taller, with sharp claws, and speed, speed that cannot be described by a man, speed so fast that you cannot think about your fate, until of course it hits you, and you perish forever, never to walk again.



The high-elves, with the world in their hands, have become rich, while the other races suffer, and die. Famine has struck the parts of the world where there is little fertile. But unlike a good ruler, they watched the people suffer, but still expect the usual money payments, and food payments. The high-elves however, promised protection, but that was never needed. No one would oppose the high-elven overlords. All this territory is ruled by the holy follower of light, Alltir an elder of the high-elven race. As you may have noticed, us elves are immortal. The high-elves think we die, but we live just as long as them.





Dark-elves are currently waging a eon long war with the high-elves, we are few in number, but we outmatch the high-elves and even the dwarves in our skill of crafting weapons and armor. Our armor is made out of Black Myithiron, the strongest alloy. It is only found in our mines, and in our land. The high-elves armor is made from a material called Rytiron, a hard and durable metal. but hard to form into position, hereby limiting the movement of the high-elven warriors.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Any feedback is welcome!