Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-26322120-20170401045555/@comment-31735895-20170417062327

Catfishperson wrote: '''How is lightning like a violist's fingers? '''

Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

'''How do you keep your violin from getting stolen? '''

Put it in a viola case.

'''What's the difference between a violin and a viola? '''

1. The viola burns longer.

2. The viola holds more beer.

3. You can tune the violin.

'''What's the definition of a minor second? '''

Two violists playing in unison.

'''Why do so many people take an instant dislike to the viola? '''

It saves time.

'''How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune? '''

The bow is moving.

'''How was the canon invented? '''

Two violists were trying to play the same passage together.

'''Why don't violists play hide and seek? '''

Because no one will look for them.

'''What's the difference between a chain saw and a viola? '''

If you absolutely had to, you could use a chain saw in a string quartet.

'''If you're lost in the desert, what do you aim for? A good viola player, a bad viola player or an oasis?'''

The bad viola player. The other two are only figments of your imagination.

'''How do you get a dozen violists to play in tune? '''

Shoot 11 of them.

Shoot all of them.

Who the hell wants a dozen violists? I play the Viola! How dare you!