Board Thread:Lore Texts/@comment-26149161-20170906213505/@comment-32569249-20170920144958

Could you please add a comma after the not in: The demon not could Glorfindel maim When I first read that I thought it meant the demon couldn't maim Glorfindel. It would just help clear up confusion.Same for after the kindled: And kindled the demon’s wrath was fired Thanks!Another small thing. Saying beneath the air doesn't really make sense. It's true, but  in our daily we don't usually treat the air as something that's actually there. Maybe use: On mountainside they laid with care On mound of grass they laid him there With golden flowers blooming fair then the last two lines are quite long also are you saying the cairn won't descend from mountainside? If not then maybe use: Never shall he from cairn descend Untill the World is at it's end However these are JUST  suggestions do whatever you feel is best, this is an amazing poem and these are just a few hopefull helpful suggestions. :D