Trolls live the lumpish life.

–J.R.R. Tolkien, probably.

OneBehindTheHair will be declared a hero to few and a traitor to most after their infamous assassination of the late revolution leader, you. They will be executed justly, if not humanely.

About Me[edit | edit source]

  • I'm not bald.
  • I'm building up my collection of Tolkien books. So far, I've gotten and read:
    • The Hobbit
    • Lord of the Rings
    • The Silmarillion
    • Beren and Lúthien
    • Fall of Gondolin
    • The Adventures of Tom Bombadil
    • Tales from the Perilous Realm
    • Unfinished Tales
    • The Children of Húrin
    • Sadly, I've also got a small collection of David Day's books. At least the art is nice, sometimes.
  • Orcs are fun to draw.
  • Building is much more fun in the mod than it is in vanilla. Am I good at it? Sort of.
  • I've travelled to Meneltarma on the Official Server in a barrel. I learned that I really, really love the mod's night sky. This song helped keep the trip interesting.
  • According to the first website that came up when I searched 'Myers-Briggs personality test', my personality type is Logician (INTP-A).

Mod Favorites[edit | edit source]

  • Faction: Mordor and Gundabad, although I'm also partial to the Half-trolls.
  • Mob: Half-troll, or Hill-troll
  • Armour: Black Uruk
  • Weapon: Ringil (Yeah, yeah, I can like Good stuff too)
  • Biome: Umbar
  • Sound: The Orc Bombardier's "Ghâsh!" And the Troll grunt.
  • Man-flesh: Food
  • Unimplemented Faction: I'd very much like to see a diverse Bree, full of friendly folk, but also full of spies and ruffians.
  • Unimplemented Mob: My Pertorogwaith Trolls, and proper, book-accurate Balrogs. Boldogs would also be pretty cool.

Tolkien Favorites[edit | edit source]

  • Character: This fluctuates a lot, but it's usually between a few select Orcs: Shagrat, Grishnákh, and Uglúk are usually at the top of my list. Though Shelob's perpetually tied with whoever is currently in first.
  • Book: The Lord of the Rings, and Unfinished Tales
  • Language: The Black Speech/Orkish
  • Race: The Orcs. Good race? Strangely enough, Hobbits.

Which king would the Witch-king kill if the Witch-king could kill kings?

Orc Facts[edit | edit source]

I like to think I know a lot about Orcs, so here's some stuff about them

  • Orcs are good smiths. It's pretty common to think that Orcs are terrible smiths, who only make cheap, ineffective armour and weaponry. However, we're told in The Hobbit that they're actually quite clever. They make plenty of weapons and instruments of torture, they're fairly advanced with mechanics compared to other races, and they can even mine as well as any but the best Dwarves.
  • Orcs and Goblins are the same thing. This is a very common mistake. Goblins aren't specifically smaller, weaker variants who live in the mountains. "Goblin" is simply the English name for "orc". The Orcs of the Misties are typically smaller than their cousins elsewhere, but they're still Orcs. The Isengarders are introduced as Goblin-soldiers, and are consistently referred to as goblins, and so are the Orcs of Mordor and Moria. The terms are completely synonymous.
  • Orcs may not have come from Elves. Orcs coming from Elves was an old idea that Tolkien abandoned. It's in the published Silmarillion, but Tolkien didn't publish the Silmarillion. His son had to create the most consistent narrative, and the Elven origin was the easiest to work with. Tolkien's other ideas he chose over Orcs-from-Elves included them coming from Men, being bred from corrupted Maiar, them being soulless automatons, and a mixed origin. It's a tricky subject.
  • Orcs aren't immortal. I think this one's mostly a misconception because of how popular Orcs-from-Elves is. Whatever their origin, they don't live forever. They're even short-lived to the "Men of higher race, such as the Edain". There did seem to be a few Orc-chieftains who lived much longer than their lesser brethren, but these may actually have been Maiar in Orc-form.
  • Elves only take prisoners for "amusement", or to eat. At least, this was what the Orcs were taught to believe. In another case, Shagrat thinks leaving an ally to die is a regular Elvish trick. There's some classic Orc-hypocrisy here, though; the Orcs themselves would eat their prisoners in need, for example. We know how the Orcs pleasure in cruelty towards captives. Moments after deriding Elves for their faithlessness, Shagrat talks about a time when he left a fellow Orc, Ufthak, to Shelob's mercy. "How we laughed!"
  • Orcs, like General Grievous, are shorter than you expected. A huge Orc-chieftain is only nearly Man-height. Frodo and Sam are able to disguise themselves as Orcs in Mordor without height being an issue. Gimli finds the Dunlendings too tall for him, but has no problem cleaving Uruk-throats. It's very unlikely there were any Orcs that would ever come anywhere close to Azog's height in the movies.
  • There are female Orcs, and Orcs breed like any other race. There's nothing like the slime pits in the films, outside of very early drafts of the Fall of Gondolin. Orcs aren't cloned, they don't grow from spores, they aren't planted like potatoes. They also aren't all captured Elves, if any of them ever were: whatever they were originally bred from, it probably only lasted for the first generation.
  • Typically, Orcs favoured scimitars in battle. They also used other weapons of course, but the scimitar seems to be their most popular choice. That said, the Isengarders were noted for using "short, broad-bladed swords," and gear taken from the dead Orcs in the Tower of Cirith Ungol included a "broad-bladed stabbing sword." For ranged weapons, Orcs are mentioned using bows made of horn several times, although the Isengarders used long bows made from yew, like Men.
  • Sauron bred Uruk-hai long before Saruman. In T.A. 2475, Sauron's forces, including the new breed of Uruks, sieged and took Osgiliath. Contrast this with Saruman's Orcs, who he only began breeding in T.A. 2990. Now, while there do seem to be some differences between the breeds in Mordor and in Isengard - Saruman's Uruks were larger and stronger, for instance - the terms "Uruks" and "Uruk-hai" are as synonymous as "Goblins" and "Orcs". "Uruk-hai" is a Black Speech term, roughly meaning "Uruk (a larger, stronger Orc warrior)-folk", while "Uruks" is simply the anglicized form.
  • Orcs aren't completely cannibalistic. The Isengarders take an accusation of cannibalism as a huge insult, killing at least three other Orcs before being calmed down. On the other hand, Shagrat threatens both Gorbag and Snaga with being eaten later on, and licks Gorbag's blood off his knife after driving it into his enemy's throat.
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