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  • I live in Udûn
  • I was born on September 29
  • My occupation is Orc-enthusiast
  • I am eating Man-flesh.
Trolls live the lumpish life.

–J.R.R. Tolkien, probably

OneBehindTheHair will earn their reputation for cruelty and bloodlust by murdering future president you, approximately 12 years from now. Presumably they will escape custody, and remain at large to the end of their life.

About Me, the One Who Lies Behind the Hair

-I'm a self proclaimed mysterious, attractive, and intelligent 'writer', and I enjoy writing short stories, usually about characters I make up.

-I have read the Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, and the Silmarillion, have read Beren and Lúthien recently, and I've finally finished the Fall of Gondolin. My favorite characters are Sauron, Gandalf, Sam, Uglúk, and Shagrat.

-As you could guess from my infobox and two of my favorite characters, the Orcs are my prime interest in the LotR universe. Uglúk stands out to me as probably the most noble an Orc can get, and Shagrat is just interesting to read about.

-I'm pretty good at drawing, although perspective, certain positions, closed fists seen from the back, and shading escape my understanding. I like to design Orcs and Trolls, and have an array of non-Tolkien related characters I've come up with.

-I like building with the mod, and I have endless frustration with the limits of vanilla building blocks.

-Guess who travelled approximately 135,000 blocks over the course of several hours to Meneltarma for little to no reward? I travelled approximately 135,000 blocks over the course of several hours to Meneltarma for little to no reward! It was on the Official Server, so feel free to ask me for proof while I'm on.

-According to the first website that came up when I searched 'Myers-Briggs personality test', my personality type is Logician (INTP-A).

Favorite Things in the Mod

  • Faction: Mordor and Gundabad
  • Mob: Half-troll, Balrog, or Hill-troll
  • Armour: Black Uruk
  • Weapon: Ringil (Yeah, yeah, I can like Good stuff too)
  • Biome: Umbar
  • Structure:
  • Sound: The Orc Bombardier's "Ghâsh!" And the Troll grunt
  • Man-flesh: Food

A Comparison of Book and Movie Azog

Now I've created a book/movie comparison of Azog and Sons' Orc Supply Co.

Canon Azog:

  • Died in T.A. 2799, approximately 142 years before the Hobbit begins
  • Was the leader of the Moria clan
  • Killed Thrór, eventually causing the Battle of Azanulbizar and ultimately his death
  • Head sliced off by Dáin
  • Strong Orc

Jackson's Azog "The Defiler"

  • Died approximately 142 years after the Battle of Azanulbizar
  • Leader of like, anything Sauron wasn't
  • Killed Thrór during the Battle of Azanulbizar, causing you to wonder what caused it in the first place
  • Hand sliced off by Thorin, and ultimately killed by said Dwarf 142 years later
  • The most powerful Orc to ever exist, so strong he could probably take on a Balrog


Canon Bolg:

  • Actually a character in the Hobbit
  • Primary leader of the Orcs in the Battle of Five Armies
  • Son of Azog, wishes to avenge his death
  • Killed by Beorn
  • Not much is known, leaving a great deal to be developed for an interesting character

Movie Bolg:

  • Eats slightly less steroids than daddy Azog
  • Secondary villain
  • Motivation: "Bolg like to smash Dwarves"
  • Heck, I don't even remember how he died. Was he even in the movie? Did I just dream him up?
  • No expansion or development whatsoever.
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