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  • I live in Udûn
  • I was born on September 29
  • My occupation is Orc-enthusiast
  • I am eating Man-flesh.
Trolls live the lumpish life.

–J.R.R. Tolkien, probably

OneBehindTheHair will earn their reputation for cruelty and bloodlust by murdering the future president, you, approximately 12 years from now. Presumably they will escape custody, and remain at large to the end of their life.

About Me, the One Who Hides Behind the Hair

  • I have read the Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, the Silmarillion, as well as Beren and Lúthien, the Fall of Gondolin, and the Adventures of Tom Bombadil (favorite poem was The Mewlips, by the way).
  • I'm very interested in the Black Speech, so I'm trying to develop my own version of it. Creating languages is hard.
  • Orcs are fun to draw.
  • Building is much more fun in the mod than it is in vanilla. Am I good at it? Sort of.
  • I've travelled to Meneltarma on the Official Server in a barrel. I learned that I really, really love the mod's night sky. This song helped keep the trip interesting.
  • According to the first website that came up when I searched 'Myers-Briggs personality test', my personality type is Logician (INTP-A).


  • Faction: Mordor and Gundabad, although I'm also partial to the Half-trolls
  • Mob: Half-troll, Balrog, or Hill-troll
  • Armour: Black Uruk
  • Weapon: Ringil (Yeah, yeah, I can like Good stuff too)
  • Biome: Umbar
  • Structure:
  • Sound: The Orc Bombardier's "Ghâsh!" And the Troll grunt
  • Man-flesh: Food
  • Character: Shagrat
  • Book: The Lord of the Rings
  • Unimplemented Faction: I'd very much like to see a diverse Bree, full of friendly folk, but also full of spies and ruffians
  • Unimplemented Mob: My Pertorogwaith Trolls, or the Mewlips

Orc Facts

Why not? I like Orcs, I like to think I've got a good bit of knowledge on them, so here's a list of trivia about them.

  • Many should know this already, but the Orcs-coming-from-Elves origin was dropped by Tolkien after a while. His original intentions were to have them created from underground slime and dirt by Melkor, before he decided that Melkor shouldn't be able to create, only twist and mock, a rule that stays pretty consistent throughout his later work. He then decided that they should be Elves, which the published Silmarillion uses, but he decided he didn't like the idea. His other ideas included them being twisted beasts that were taught to imitate speech, them being corrupted Men (which, although conflicting with the published timeline, would've been made consistent as he reworked the whole Elder Days), them being corrupted Maiar (my least favorite), and a mix of the Men and Elf theories.
  • Orcs may or may not be short-lived. Tolkien wrote in a letter that Orcs lived shorter lives than Men (around 60 years or so); however, Bolg lived about 142 years past his father (Azog)'s death, and probably for a good while before that.
  • A great Orc chieftain in the First Age named Boldog may have been several Orcs. Tolkien wrote that the name 'Boldog' may have been a title, used by several Maiar in Orc-forms. No relation to certain canine-breeds.
  • I'm very unforgiving about this one: There is no difference between Orcs and Goblins. Orcs are Goblins and Goblins are Orcs. Orcs are not larger than Goblins. Goblins are not more deformed than Orcs. Goblins and Orcs are the same just like Orcs and Yrch are the same. Would you ever say that an Orch is a more agile, less ugly species compared to an Orc or something? Of course not, it's just the Old English name (representing Westron/Rohirric) and the Sindarin name (Goblin is English). Even the Uruk-hai of Isengard are sometime referred to as Goblins.
  • Orcs are gigantic hypocrites in many cases. They perceive Elves in an extremely negative light, calling abandoning an injured ally a typical Elvish trick (despite laughing about leaving a web-bound Orc to Shelob's mercy); The Mordor Orcs claim the Isengarders eat Orc-flesh, an insult which starts a violent skirmish, but Shagrat has no qualms about threatening both Gorbag and Snaga with being eaten, and licks the Gorbag's blood off his knife after stabbing him in the throat.
  • Orcs of the First Age seem to use Elvish (Gnomish, more accurately)-derived names in earlier texts. Listed among the Orcs that Tuor killed at the Fall of Gondolin are Balcmeg, Orcobal, Othrod, and Lug (apparently coming from the Gnomish word for 'snake', unrelated to the Black Speech word for 'prison', or 'fortress'.).
  • The Orcs eat their prisoners, unless they're sold as slaves or ordered to be kept alive for the time being.
  • Orcs are very short. Frodo and Sam are able to pass as Orcs despite their height, and the 'huge' Moria chieftain that spears Frodo is said to be almost Man-height. Grishnákh, an Orc captain straight from Barad-dûr, makes up for his height in strength, being able to carry both Merry and Pippin for a short distance.
  • Orc females do exist, and Orcs reproduce just like anyone else. Gollum is mentioned having eaten a young Orc just before losing the Ring.
  • The Orcs didn't really have a singular language. There were as many variants of Orkish as there were tribes. Sauron designed the Black Speech in the Second Age, intending it to be the sole language of his servants, but they just started debasing it until it was just another Orkish dialect. When Sauron rose again in the Third Age, he apparently made it the language of all his captains again. The people who could consistently understand it were the Nazgûl, the Elves (although they hated the sound of it), presumably the Black Númenóreans in Mordor, and the Olog-hai (it was the only language they knew).

Which king would the Witch-king kill if the Witch-king could kill kings?

Dol Guldur Shield Scholar of the Black Tongue Fashat ush-u, Snaga! Evil Contest Shield

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